Bad anatomy aside, this drawing is for everything that I’ve realized today. And this might be long and kinda bleh for some of you so you can just skip this if you don’t feel it yo.

I walked through Ayala at ten in the evening. I’m sorry but the business district gets kinda depressing after office hours and when you’re tired and you have to walk roughly three kilometers to get to the shuttle station with broken shoes and aching feet (I don’t know if its because I keep buying cheap knock-offs or if its in the way I walk but all my shoes just break in the most horrible, inconvenient way), you tend to think about life and junk. 

Unless, of course, you’re not me. Then you’ll probably just have a normal walk. Idk.

But I realized that most of my life, I’ve been trained to endure all sorts of ridiculous shit. No pain, no gain. If you fight the pain, you win the game. If it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger. And blah blah blah blah blah. And don’t we all take pride in overcoming pain? Don’t we all want to prove that we’re stronger than we think we are? We tend to forget we have another option. It might be seen as less dignified or whatever but it’s an option nonetheless. The option to run, turn around, walk away,  go a different direction, escape. Perhaps we don’t do that enough because we’re scared or  ashamed of being called weak. 

And you know, some of us have been fighting all our lives (no matter how short we have actually “lived” compared to others). We know our worth, we know we’re strong. But we also know we’re tired. And sometimes there is just no point in staying for the fight when you can just leave. 

I’m leaving. I don’t know where I’m going, or what’s going to happen to me. But I just don’t want to stick around anymore. It’s just ridiculous to stay for something that’s slowly poisoning you. There are really things that may mean so much to you at first but you know things can easily happen that might not make it worth saving or fighting for anymore. Sometimes its really just better to close the door on these things and start fresh.