Ten Dream Drabbles in which I was part of the cast of Avengers

So this kind of happened and I’m sorry for ruining everything for you. 

1. I don’t know what the hell my role was in the movie but I was always with the cast and there were a lot of fight scenes. Me and Scarlet would train during pre-prod and she was just so good doing all these crazy back flips and acrobatic pirouetting shit and I was just like, *punch, punch, kick* It was beyond pathetic. But Joss Whedon said they’d make everything look cool in post prod so I went with it. I looked really stupid punching air, believe me. 
2. It was crey being the youngest in the cast because I was still a student and after shooting in the morning, I would rush to school because I had an exam. And it was raining and I had to study during car rides. Sometimes I would mix up the things I studied with my lines in the movie and I would answer in the exam something like, “Vladimir Lenin killed the Russian Tsar and the entire Romanova family…except for one Natasha Romanova”. Sometimes I would cry because everything was just so hard and I wondered why I was living this sort of life. Another time, I went to my CITIGOV class and I was late as usual. People just glared at me and they were whispering all sorts of shit about how I was always late and that I shouldn’t be excused despite me being an actress. And I sat next to Guia, who saved me a seat and she looked pissed as hell while she was giving me the homeworks and notes I missed and then she told me I was still wearing part of my costume to class and it was so embarrassing. Whats worse than dreaming about sitting in class naked is sitting in class wearing a S.H.I.E.L.D uniform.
3. During 30 minute breaks after shooting, Jeremy Renner and I would play this dancing shit on Wii and we would dance so beautiful in perfect coordination. He’s a fucking bellerina. I swear to god Jeremy Renner is my sassy gay dream best friend. And everyone would just sit around and watch us.
4. THE CHRISES: Chris Hems was having trouble detaching himself from his character Thor so most of the time he spoke like him and when he would get excited or frustrated he would literally just go “HHHHWWWWARRGHGH!” Chris Evs would tweet about about everything (like Misha in that Supernatural episode). I hated him so much because he was just annoying as fuck. And he would make fun of me for being small. Oh and he always always always made that derpy face and he would scream “ERMERGERD IRM CAPN AMURRCURRRR” just to get on my nerves because he knows I hate him. One time, Guia was on set becauseshe was tutoring me for the classes I’ve missed and she could not teach me shit because the Chrises would just interrupt us. I would scold them and they would just laugh because I was so small. And I was constantly constantly telling Guia, “WHY DO YOU LIKE THEM WHATS WRONG WITH YOU”
5. Robert Downey Jr. played the ukelele. And at first I thought it was adorbs but he started singing about weird shit. Like he would narrate everything I’d do in song. RDJ became the background music for everything. I was like “DON’T YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO.” And he replied in song, “OOH SHE’S GETTING UPSET. I THINK I GOT HER UPSET. HER FACE IS TURNING RED. IT MATCHES HER HAIRRRRRRRRRR.” I’m not kidding you.
6. The really nice guys were Mark and Tom because they were just so kind and polite. But Tom, god Tom. Everytime we’re together, even in interviews, he would always say something nice to me. He was vomiting compliments left and right. And you know what, TUMBLR actually noticed. I would go on Tumblr from time to time and found that a very very small niche of fans shipped us because they noticed these little quirks we had. And because I wasn’t a fangirling creep in my dream, I was always cool about it and we became bros real quick. We had a fight scene together and when we would practice, I would fall and he would help me up and say sorry eventhough I was the one who made the mistake. And I think at some point he even apologized for being tall because I couldn’t reach him with my punches — whyyyyy. One time, I made him pancakes for breakfast, not sure why. He tweeted about it and took a picture and Tumblr was flooded with prompts. Dianne would visit the set with her laptop and she would show me all these new fics and fanart and I would feel so horrible because I know Tumblr and Tom doesn’t have a clue what’s going on. One time, I was in my dressing room and Dianne was reading this smutty fic OUT LOUD. And Dianne would copy my voice and she would go, “TOM! NO! PLEASE! STOP!” and Tom would walk in and he would be like, “I’m sorry, stop what?” and I would just die in my seat because I was so sorry. Dianne we can’t be friends anymore when I’m famous.
7. Tom and I were walking on the Red Carpet and we would be all fun and cool for a while until Chris comes in with Elsa, looking so gorgeous together. And I would notice how Tom would lose his sparkly perfect smile. So to make him feel better, I would be all awkward around Elsa and keep her company so Tom could sit with Chris during the awarding ceremony. And one time, I met Susannah Fielding on the Red Carpet. It was awkward as fuck because she was so pretty standing there being all polite (but for some reason I knew she was just being fake as fuck and deep down she wanted to destroy me because come on). And I was just standing there not knowing what to say and Tom was having the hardest time introducing us. So to ease the tension, Chris Hems comes from out of nowhere, scoops me up, lifts me with his bigass arms and starts yelling, “STOLEN RELIC! STOLEN RELIC!!!” and Tom would just follow us going, “CHRIS PUT HER DOWN!” And we would completely forget about Susannah. 
8. Kat bugs me about getting Scarlet’s autograph, and lock of hair, and costume, and anything with her DNA. When I don’t do what she wants, she writes tons and tons of Avengers AU fics wherein I die a horrible death.
9. I brought my cat, Loki to set all the time. Whenever I would yell at him for ruining the furniture, people would just assume I’m doing impormptu shit for the movie. Tom didn’t know what to feel about it.
10. Samuel Jackson would walk into set with his pink Nicki Minaj wig. And he would just be so sassy. During behind-the-scenes videos and interviews, he would always just pop out from the background like a beautiful motherfucking badass daisy and he would sing Beez in a Trap. I asked him, “Why do you always wear that wig?” and he would flip his hair and go, “WHAT WIG? MOTHERFUCKER, THIS IS MY REAL HURR,” and I would just walk out.

(Source: theicarustheory)