I had the weirdest first day at work. But I’m too tired to tell you about it so I’m just gonna draw what was basically me the whole day today.

Remember when I said I would never post anything remotely nsfw? Well, fuck. Also, someone’s been tracking #Sadstuck so have some human! Gamrezi wip I guess.

K let’s get a Fuck You For Everything Gamzee playlist on:

• Mumford and Sons - Ghosts That We Knew
• Anberlin - Inevitable
• Awolnation - Sail
• Bon Iver - Skinny Love
• The Black Keys - Howlin For You
• Bon Iver - Creature Fear
• Broken Social Scene - Anthems For A Seventeen Year Old Girl
• Childish Gambino - Break (All Of The Lights)
• The Civil Wars - Poison & Wine
• Jet - Look What You’ve Done
• John Mayer - Vultures
• The Kooks - Kids (MGMT Cover)
• Parachute - The Mess I’ve Made
• Portishead - Glory Box

And let’s not forget

• Skrillex- Bangarang

Dingitty-done

The Iron Man 3 Trailer came out today and I vomited a thing.

So from the two-minute trailer, here’s what me and my friends already predicted about the  IM3’s plot: IRON MAN LOVES TONY STARK. TONY STARK LOVES IRON MAN BUT THEY CAN NEVER BE BECAUSE HE’S A MACHINE, ALSO PEPPER’S IN THE WAY. SEXUAL TENSION. ANGST. “NO ONE CAN EVER LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOURESELF, TONY…IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN”. SYMBOLIC EXPLOSIONS. IRON MAN 3. Boom. And to sum it all up, Dianne made this gif that encapsulates all those feelings.

I don’t know how we got to this at all. Like one moment, me, Dianne, and Harmony were just commenting, “CAN’T” and “NOPE” on Facebook. Then ola sudden, we’re shipping Tony with himself and oh, god bless, god bless.

TONY + IRON MAN = IRONY

THIS SHIP HAS BEEN BLESSED.

Wip I’ll be working on for the rest of the night because if I don’t finish by tomorrow I’ll be so upset.

Finished piece here!

I really just planned on taking a break from writing my papers and drawing a pretty dress.

Until I ended up drawing my insecurities.

Lol body, 

Dear Tumblr, 

Thanks for last night. I didn’t think I could reach my limit, but you made it happen. I’m glad you made my first time worth while. Looking forward to do it again soon.

XOXO

—-

I’m kidding, this Tumblr post limit friggin sucks okay. I reached my post limit last night at 2am and all my favorite people in the world started posting awsome junk around that time, I couldn’t even save them as drafts or queue them. It was one of the darkest moments of my Tumblr life. And its all because of you, stupid Avengers Gag Reel, BTS, and Deleted Scenes. August 21/22, 2012 — the day the Avengers fandom became a whole nother level of bat-shit crazy. Avengers. Y u ruin my lyf. 

And today my non-fandom, non-tumblr, RL friend, Diego, asked me if I’ve “seen” the Gag Reel. Oh dear, how was I supposed to tell him that I didn’t only “see” them, but I downloaded all of them, watched them like six billion times, memorized them, made them my ringtone, cried over them, and had a gif strife with Dianne because of them. How was I supposed to calmly and politely explain that while we were in class. I DIDN’T. So instead I leaned in real close and whispered, “of course I have.” And his face was like, “WELL.”

Lol this is why my RL friends can’t stand me. fvdzzzzzzz

(Source: theicarustheory)

My corkboard is filled with naked women and oddly-drawn dinosaurs. 

Doctor Who Season 1, in which I underestimated my tolerance for characters dying.

And I still haven’t studied for my exam on Monday.

Bad anatomy aside, this drawing is for everything that I’ve realized today. And this might be long and kinda bleh for some of you so you can just skip this if you don’t feel it yo.

I walked through Ayala at ten in the evening. I’m sorry but the business district gets kinda depressing after office hours and when you’re tired and you have to walk roughly three kilometers to get to the shuttle station with broken shoes and aching feet (I don’t know if its because I keep buying cheap knock-offs or if its in the way I walk but all my shoes just break in the most horrible, inconvenient way), you tend to think about life and junk. 

Unless, of course, you’re not me. Then you’ll probably just have a normal walk. Idk.

But I realized that most of my life, I’ve been trained to endure all sorts of ridiculous shit. No pain, no gain. If you fight the pain, you win the game. If it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger. And blah blah blah blah blah. And don’t we all take pride in overcoming pain? Don’t we all want to prove that we’re stronger than we think we are? We tend to forget we have another option. It might be seen as less dignified or whatever but it’s an option nonetheless. The option to run, turn around, walk away,  go a different direction, escape. Perhaps we don’t do that enough because we’re scared or  ashamed of being called weak. 

And you know, some of us have been fighting all our lives (no matter how short we have actually “lived” compared to others). We know our worth, we know we’re strong. But we also know we’re tired. And sometimes there is just no point in staying for the fight when you can just leave. 

I’m leaving. I don’t know where I’m going, or what’s going to happen to me. But I just don’t want to stick around anymore. It’s just ridiculous to stay for something that’s slowly poisoning you. There are really things that may mean so much to you at first but you know things can easily happen that might not make it worth saving or fighting for anymore. Sometimes its really just better to close the door on these things and start fresh.

Goodness, I hope everyone’s enjoying the rainy weather. Because I most certainly am fucking not. Yet another fever that I hope dies down tonight because I have a quiz tomorrow. Everyone drink your vitamins and junk!